Did you know that your spouse may have no idea that your marriage is on a rocky surface at the moment? There are times when your partner may be completely aloof of your troubles- in fact that might be part of your problem. Maybe you are frustrated by your husband or wife’s lack of observation and that has what has caused you to consider a divorce. In many situations, men are less aware that a marriage is in danger than women are. Psychology Today writes that a lot times, when a wife asks for divorce, it is the first inkling for the husband that there is something wrong. In fact, the request comes out of the blue for them.
Many times men just don’t recognize the signs that a marriage is getting more difficult. Women are much more emotional and may start to keep a running tab of offenses that her husband commits against her. On the other hand, men usually take things in stride, and won’t ask for a divorce unless the conflict escalates from quiet in nature to violent with loud disputes and physical actions. One psychologist wrote in a divorce journal that often men take it very hard when their wife asks for a split. They tend to relentlessly stalk their partner and become depressed when they weren’t aware of this possibility. This can create the potential for a messy, contested divorce.
In some cases, this shocking request of a divorce can help a man to redefine his masculinity. Psychology Today suggests that husbands in a divorce redefine their priorities. Sometimes this attempt to be assertive and masculine will help better the marriage, but it almost always betters the man. In these “drop the bomb” divorce cases, the woman usually lives the man’s emotional life for him. She mothers him and protects him without expecting much of him, but then one day the burden becomes too much for her to bear. Instead, she decides to divorce him when it comes to be too much. If you are either side of this type of dilemma, then make sure you secure the legal help that you will need to have a successful divorce.