Many people who are going through a
wonder how they got to where they are and whether or not their problems
were common. When two people enter into a marriage, they expect that there
will be times of "worse." Often, these times revolve around
other stresses, such as a job loss, ill parent or difficult child. What
many do not expect, however, is that "relationship rudeness"
plays a big part in making times "worse."
Relationship rudeness is something we have all experienced, and have probably
been on the other side of. Taking a person for granted because he or she
is there is often the precursor to outright relationship rudeness. Once
we stop appreciating someone, it is easier to assume that all of their
actions are expected, as opposed to something that should be praised.
Taking time for politeness - thanking someone for unloading the dishwasher,
writing a short note of appreciation - can diffuse stress and make people
less likely to snap or lash out.
Relationship therapists say that being your spouse's cheerleader and
remembering your "pleases and thank yous" can greatly improve
a relationship and may bring some couples back from the brink of divorce.
At the very least, it will probably decrease the acrimony and bitterness
surrounding your divorce.